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- π The AFL Enters Finals Frenzy
π The AFL Enters Finals Frenzy
Good morning, it's Monday, 15 August. Days are getting slightly longer, slightly warmer and slightly less sucky. That can only mean one thing - FOOTY FINALS! We're still a few weeks away from the finals but calculators are out as pundits try to predict where the teams will finish. It's a great time of the year... unless you prefer dark, cold and miserable days. Hey, each to their own. Let's get started.
β± 1,315 words = 6 minutes
π Who gets thrown for a shoey? Honestly?!
THE MAIN GAME
π Super Sunday to decide AFL finals series
Whatever you've got planned for Sunday afternoon cancel it. There are 3 huge AFL games that'll determine the top 8 so sort out your schedule and buckle up.
Golden points: There's just one round left of the AFL regular season after a weekend's worth of games that left some fans happy and others heartbroken.
Happy fans include supporters of Geelong, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Collingwood, Fremantle and Richmond because those clubs are all certain to play finals footy.
Carlton was about 11 seconds away from joining those 7 clubs above, but a clutch goal by Melbourne's Kysaiah Pickett with time ticking down broke Blues fans' hearts.
Had they won, Carlton would be assured of a 1st finals appearance since 2013. But the loss to the Demons sets up a cracking Sunday with every match having finals implications.
At 1:10pm, the Bulldogs play the Hawks in Tassie. If the Dogs win, they'll momentarily move into 8th spot, level with Carlton.
As that game winds down, the Blues-Magpies blockbuster starts at 3:20pm at the MCG. If the Blues win, they're in. If Collingwood wins, they're in the top 4. Lots to play for.
Then at 4:40pm, the Saints play the Swans at Marvel Stadium. The Saints can still make the finals if the Dogs and Blues lose but would need a big win to get into the 8. The Swans will be playing for 2nd spot and a home final. Stakes are high. Repeat: stakes are high.
They said it: "I thought our players were really brave right through the whole night. It hurts. It was an important game for us and we didn't quite get it right in the end," - Carlton coach Michael Voss after the loss to the Demons.
Key click: Check out all the final scenarios here. Only 4 more sleeps until the last round begins!
QUICK SINGLES
β³οΈ Golf: Cameron Smith's hopes of the world #1 ranking hit the water. Smith had a chance at the top ranking had he won this morning's FedEx St Jude Championship in Memphis, Tennessee. But his 4th round didn't start great when he was handed a 2-shot penalty for improper ball placement in the 3rd round and he couldn't catch the leaders this morning.
π NRL: Cameron Ciraldo is the next top dog at Canterbury. The Bulldogs announced Panthers assistant coach Ciraldo as their head coach for 5 seasons starting in 2023, replacing former Panthers assistant Trent Barrett, who was sacked halfway through this season. At 38yo, Ciraldo will be the league's youngest head coach and be a key voice in keeping young star Matt Burton at the club.
π Rugby: It's all square in the Rugby Championship after Argentina and New Zealand bounce back with wins. Argentina scored 7 tries in their 48-17 win over the Wallabies (their biggest ever win over the Aussies) in San Juan after the All Blacks beat the Springboks 35-23 in Johannesburg. It means all 4 teams have 1 win and 1 loss before the next round of matches in a fortnight.
β½οΈ Football: "We are witnessing the annihilation of Manchester United." That's not us, that's a direct quote from Man Utd great Gary Neville after his old side lost 4-0 to Brentford on the weekend to put them last on the Premier League ladder for the first time in 30 years. The good news is Man Utd won that year (the 1st year of the EPL) but the bad news is the club is at "rock bottom" according to experts and it ain't gonna get any easier with Liverpool coming up.
π AFLW: "You're gonna need a bigger stadium." That quote is from us, appropriated from that famous line in Jaws, but we can imagine AFL CEO Gil McLachlan saying it when he was told how many fans want to attend the first AFLW match ever between Essendon and Hawthorn. Ticket demand was so high for the match that the AFL has moved the 27 August match to Marvel Stadium to get as many fans in as possible.
LEFT OF FIELD
π NRL: A fan in New Zealand has been banned for life for doing a shoey. Calley Gibson, a brikkie from Auckland, is something of a cult hero across the Tasman Sea for downing a beer from his shoe every time the camera cuts to him sitting in front of the NZ Warriors' coach's box at Mt Smart Stadium. But his fame has cost him. It sounds like security and the police had caught wind of what was going on, so after he finished his first shoey on Friday night he was kicked out and handed a lifetime ban. But it's not over. An online petition has nearly 10,000 signatures demanding the man known as 'Roger Shoey Vasa-Sheck' have his lifetime bad overturned. Look at him - does he deserve to be banned for life?!

Pic: Fox Sports
π½ Highlight reel: There was a bit happening this morning at Stamford Bridge in the English Premier League. Check out the 96th-minute goal from Tottenham captain Harry Kane below that snatched a 2-2 draw with Chelsea then check out this clip of both managers being sent off for a heated handshake at full-time.
πΈ Photo finish: This pic from Ricky Ponting on Insta is a nostalgia hit for 6. Just the 88,349 runs, 1,248 wickets and 2249 matches for Australia from these legends.

(L to R) Justin Langer, Brett Lee, Matthew Hayden, Darren Lehmann, Andy Bichel, Adam Gilchrist, Greg Blewett, Ricky Ponting, Shane Watson. Pic: @rickyponting Instagram
THE POLLING BOOTH
Friday's result: 54.39% would rather stare at the sun for 5 hours than participate in karaoke.
WHAT WE'RE WATCHING (THAT'S NOT THE COMM GAMES)
βΎοΈ 9:00am - MLB - Red Sox v Yankees - Fenway Park, Boston - Foxtel, Kayo
π 3:00am (Tuesday) - The Hundred - Phoenix v Rockets - Trent Bridge, Nottingham - Foxtel, Kayo
β½οΈ 5:00am (Tuesday) - EPL - Liverpool v Crystal Palace - Anfield - Optus Sport
THE MANAGER'S OFFICE
There's only one thing the manager hates more than a bunch of wet towels on the floor, and that's a referral that's gone missing... Tell your teammates, supporters, and physio about us. No one likes a ball hog...